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Motherhood: Small Steps
- Emily Walker
- Jan 17
- 3 min read
🌱 Small Steps
Literally.
This blog is the plan, the theory, and the why behind why I base my parenting trials around one simple idea: small steps.
🪞 Expectations vs Reality
I had an idea of the mother I would be.
I never thought I’d be perfect — but I also never imagined how often I’d feel like I was missing the mark. And that’s okay. I’ve made my peace with that now (hello again, Expectations vs Reality).
Motherhood is far more demanding, relentless, and exhausting than I could ever have imagined. Most days, I’m running on empty — emotionally, mentally, physically — and when that happens, I take the path of least resistance.
And honestly? That path usually looks like:
Easy meals
A messy house
Washing that never quite makes it away
Letting my baby dictate the day
And… more TV than I ever thought I’d allow
When things get hard, survival wins. Every time.
🧠 Avoidance & “Failure”
Here’s something I’ve noticed about myself.
Anything I’ve tried before and faced resistance with — or felt like I failed at — I now tend to quietly avoid. Not because I don’t care, but because failing again feels heavier than I have the capacity for.
Food refusal. Activities that ended in meltdowns. Boundaries I couldn’t hold. Plans that collapsed.
So instead of pushing through, I step back. And sometimes… I just don’t step forward again.
That’s where Small Steps comes in.
It’s not a fix — it’s a way to keep going.
📖 Not Giving Up on the Mother I Wanted to be
I don’t want to give up on everything I imagined for my motherhood.
There’s a chapter in Motherkind by Zoe Blaskey that really stayed with me.
It reframes confidence in a way that feels both kinder and more realistic. We don’t need to aspire to what we think confidence looks like. Confidence in any situation is simply experience in that situation.
That’s it.
Confidence isn’t personality-based or something you either have or don’t have — it’s built through exposure, repetition, and time.
Which means if I avoid the things that feel hard, uncomfortable, or that I’ve previously ‘failed’ at, I’m not protecting myself — I’m just stopping myself from ever gaining the experience that would make them feel easier.
Small steps are how I keep going without burning myself out.
🪜 The Small Steps Idea
The idea is simple:
I try again — another time — when I feel able.
It doesn’t need to be big. It doesn’t need to be perfect. It doesn’t even need to “work”.
It just needs to be one small thing.
Maybe once a week.
Maybe even less.
The key rule? Taking the step itself is the success.
Not the outcome.
🍊 A Small Step in Real Life
Today, I felt like I had a little patience in the tank.
So I decided to try my boy with a food he’s rejected in the past.
I’ve prepared so many foods and meals for him that have gone untouched. When that happens, the wasted effort hits like a blow — not just practically, but emotionally too.
Today’s food was an orange.
Under the Small Steps approach, this mattered:
I tried again
I showed up
I made the effort
Whether he ate the orange or not, the step itself counted.
And then…
He ate the whole orange.
Then another half.
And then — completely unprompted — he signed “more” for the first time in context.
A seriously proud mum moment.
🎥 You can watch the moment in action below — the patience, the effort, and the Small Steps philosophy in real life.
Want to see more small steps moments? Follow along on Instagram
✨ Why Small Steps Matter
Small steps remove the pressure.
They allow room for exhaustion, bad days, and lowered capacity — without giving up altogether.
They acknowledge that parenting isn’t about consistency at all costs, but about gently returning when you can.
No shame.
No forcing.
No pretending it’s easy.
Just small steps. Again and again.
And sometimes — if you’re lucky — they surprise you.
If you’re here because something resonated — you don’t need to do anything with that yet.
Notice what feels heavy.
Pick one small thing.
Try again when you can.
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